*MOM, WHERE ARE YOU?

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 (NIV 1984)

While my five-year-old was in the bath, I decided to tackle the carpets.  I made my way downstairs to muscle the inevitable.  When I turned off the vacuum I was met with the cries and screams of a little boy who was scared. 

Quickly, I made my way back upstairs and asked, "What is the matter son?"  Between sobs, he replied, "I didn't know where you were Mom.  I kept calling for you but you never answered me.  I thought you were gone." 

I questioned, "Son, do you know who I am?  Do you know me?" "Yes" he acknowledged, "You are my Mom."  "Okay, do you trust who I am?"  He confirmed, "Yes."  "Have I ever left you home alone?" "No," he responded.  

Cupping his face in my hands I lovingly reminded him, "Listen sweetheart, you need to trust in who I am even when you cannot see me."  "Okay Mommy."

As I walked out of the bathroom I immediately felt the Spirit nudge my soul and prod me with the same questions I had just inquired of my son.  "Do you know who I am Hester?" "Do you trust in who I am, even when you cannot see Me?"  

I wanted to say yes to the Lord, but I knew in my heart I honestly couldn't.  Situations in life have me concerned.  ("Concerned" is much less self-condemning than "worried," right? :)).  Circumstances, out of my control, sometimes strike fear within me.

Being humbled by God is necessary if I am to realize areas of needed growth in my life.  And, this is one of those areas of needed maturity.  Truth is, I like to know the details and maintain as much perceived control as possible.  When things get out of whack my 'crazy' begins to surface.  When my unsound mind is revealed I recognize how small my faith is compared to the greatness of my God.

The alternative to trusting in God is to trust in ourselves.  Human.  Weak.  Feeble.  Fallible.  Trust in self = failure.  Trust in God = faith.  We will find ourselves at the end of hope when we try to be self-sufficient versus God-dependent.

To live in fear is to walk without trust or faith. Hebrews 11:6 tells us it is impossible to please God without faith.  Living in fear causes us to seek control over everything around us.  However, understanding our inability to actually control circumstances can bring a sense of freedom. Functioning in faith frees us from fear because it causes us to relinquish control to the One who truly possesses it in the first place.

Isaiah 41:10 also tells us, "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  What a powerful verse!  Bringing comfort and assurance to our hearts, God tells us not to fear because He is with us and because He is our God.  Then, He continues to reassure us by proclaiming that He will strengthen and help us.  He will even uphold us with His righteous right hand.

I am convicted.

I don't want my actions to reveal fear but rather faith.  A strong, active and living faith that is proclaimed in my life, not just professed with my lips.

His words echo in my mind, "Do you know who I am Hester?  Do you trust in who I am, even when you cannot see Me?"  Yes Lord, I recall:

• You are Jehovah Jireh, God My Provider.  Don't doubt my abundant provision for your family.  I know what you need.  Have I not faithfully cared for you since birth?
• You are El Roi, the God Who Sees Me.  You may not see Me, but I see you.  And, there is evidence all around you of My handiwork.
• You are Yahweh, I Am, The One Who Is.  Do you know I Am?  Will you trust in I Am?  I know you are learning you are not, so why not exercise faith in the One Who Is?

I've ridden this roller-coaster of fear for awhile.  God teaches me the reality that I must relinquish my fearful tendencies daily, moment-by-moment as situations arise.  Praying through my fears allows me to truly lay my burdens at Christ's feet, get up and face my day knowing God will carry these worries for me.  

As I exercise this discipline I acknowledge God's rightful place on the throne as the only One able to deal with my concerns.  Trusting in Who God is allows me to experience His peace and grace because I'm learning that, no matter what, God is big enough, even when my faith is not.

Fear cripples.  Disabling fear causes us to doubt and question who God is. Trusting in who God is, is the key component to our faith. 

• We must trust in who He is even when we may not understand why something is happening. 
• We must trust in His sovereignty even when we question a circumstance. 
• We must trust in His answer even when we think we may have a better solution.

Let our hearts not be troubled. May we trust in the Lord's ability to carry us through our circumstances.  May our fear be replaced with bold faith.  May we trust in who God is, even when we cannot see Him.

My fear stricken child learned a lesson this day, but a greater lesson of faith was in store for me.


Heart Work:
What situation are you facing that you need to surrender to God?  Do you need to relinquish control of a circumstance that scares you?  

Ask the Lord to increase your faith.

Heart Exam:
Do you know who God is?  Do you trust in who He is?   

Are you in control or is God?  

How do your actions reveal whether or not you trust in God even when you cannot see Him?

Life Transforming Word:
2 Timothy 1:7  "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

Psalm 46:1-2  "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."

Isaiah 41:13  "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you."

Isaiah 35:4  "Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong and do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.' "

Psalm 23:4  "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for your are with me."





Copyright 2010 by Hester Christensen.  Edited 2012.  All rights reserved.